Ask Marie:
Connecting With a New Team

Dear Marie,

I have been working for my company for 3 ½ years and was transferred to the marketing department 3 months ago. My ability to strategically problem solve, while making quick decisions, as well as my commitment to the company were recognized, resulting in my dream opportunity as a marketing manager. I am having trouble connecting with my new direct report as well as one of my department colleagues. I am frustrated, since I did not have problems establishing rapport or communicating with the co-workers in my other department. At the risk of sounding paranoid, I almost feel like they are conspiring to see me fail. For example, during our department meeting last week I asked for input on a new idea. As customary, both individuals had little to contribute. Yet, I saw them together discussing their ideas in private the following day.

How do you suggest I handle this?

– Peter D.

Dear Peter,

Congratulations on your promotion! It is certainly a reflection of your strong business skills. Many times, a promotion may also reflect strong interpersonal skills as well. While I cannot assess the effectiveness of your interpersonal skills with limited information, I can assert that unlike business skills, an effective interpersonal style must be mutable and adjusted to adapt to those whom you are trying to establish a connection. Your ability to make quick decisions suggests that you are comfortable leading with extroversion. There is no judgment here, rather I am pointing out that others may lead with a different style. From the sound of it, your new colleagues may need time to process your ideas and perhaps their silence in meetings is not a sign of their lack of support, but rather an inclination to reflect and analyze before stating their opinion. I recommend you prepare a meeting agenda and, if possible, distribute it the day before the meeting. Additionally, take a week to just observe their styles as they interact with others. Attempt to adapt your style to match theirs. For example, if they have longer and more detailed emails, while yours are short and to the point, they work best with having more details. Give them the information, space and time and I bet you see a difference. 

Good luck and remember, I offer a complimentary 30-minute consultation to all new clients, and those who write in get a full hour. I am looking forward to hearing from you!

Best,
Marie

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